If you are a fan of the Premier League not living the UK you really miss out on a daily giggle (and the occasional nugget of truth) if you don’t take the time once in a while to read the soccer coverage in the British tabloids. For instance today, The Sun, the tackiest of the tabloids (http://www.thesun.co.uk/) has come up with a story, headlined “Sparky Gave Sheikhs ¼ Million to Buy Bell”. In case you didn’t know, “Sparky” is the nickname that newly unemployed former Manchester City manager Mark Hughes has been saddled with since his playing days. The story claims that when the deal was being made to sign Craig Bell for fourteen million ponds the club was 250,000 short and that Hughes lent the club the money.

The wonderful thing about The Sun is that their writers never actually feel the need to back their stories up with actual sources. There is no mention of where this was dreamed up from.  Certainly Hughes was a fine player in his time and has been a good manager, but does he really have that much lying around to loan out? Hughes played in the days before the huge sponsorship deals and the exclusive photo ops with OK Magazine were around to help soccer players line their pockets.

Soccer players in England are big news, bigger than musicians, bigger than actors, most of the time they are bigger than royalty. Do yourself a favor once in a while EPL fans, read the Sun and the Mirror (after you check the real news on soccertools.com of course).  You’ll have to dig for the actual stats and match reports but you will learn that Darren Bent’s fear of spiders might derail his World Cup dreams(??) and that new Eastlands boss Roberto Mancini is ready to fight with Robinho on his very first day on the job (bit of a mismatch surely -- and terrible for those fancy Italian suits Mancini sports).  And that’s just today.

The British tabloids do love to talk a load of nonsense about anything and everything to do with soccer. The Sun, one of the most popular, has an interesting new theory today about Premiership leaders Chelsea. According to them, Chelsea’s third strip – a natty navy and yellow number, is cursed and they have the facts to back up their assertions.

As the Sun points out, the Blues have only had to resort to donning their third choice uniform four times so far this season and each outing has proven to be less than stellar. When they sustained their first loss of the season, against lowly Wigan they were wearing the third strip. Same goes for the 2-1 defeat at Aston Villa, the disappointing penalty defeat to Blackburn in the League Cup and then again this past Saturday when Mark Hughes’ Manchester United upset them 2-1. Four losses this season, four outings for the third strip.

Actually, this all makes sense. Maybe this uniform should go the way of the infamous gray uniforms that Manchester United dumped in the 90s.In 1996 Manchester United experimented with a gray soccer jersey that had been designed to “look great with jeans” an obvious marketing ploy. After having lost 4 out 6 while wearing it, Fergie made his players change out of it at half time during a game against Southampton that they were already losing 3-0.

Is it Ronaldo or is the Hulk? CR9 was back in action for the first time at home for Real Madrid in 2 months on Saturday and boy did he make his mark. After scoring once, Crissy managed to draw a penalty, which he promptly missed.

Though you might not know it, the Hulk impression was part of his celebrations for the one that did hit the back of the net, but the display earned him a yellow card for removing his shirt. A second yellow for kicking at opponent Juanma Ortiz of Almeria got him sent off in the dying minutes of the game, ensuring he will once again be missing a match next week against Valencia.

Real Madrid manager Manuel Pellegrini tried to sound as patient as possible with his temperamental midfielder during the post match press conference. "It's a shame that he saw a yellow card for taking his shirt off; he should've avoided that. His double booking was fair because he took his shirt off and because he was involved in a series of fouls.”

There was also talk after the match about Ronaldo’s perceived indifference to team mate Karim Benzuma’s goal in the 83^rd minute that allowed Real to salvage a 3-2 win. Ronaldo himself had an explanation for that one, telling the press, "I was sad after missing the penalty and that's why I didn't celebrate the goal that followed. I am a perfectionist but I'm glad Karim scored”.

Ronalso may want to start keeping his clothes on and his temper in check though, as although his new side are second in La Liga they trail arch rivals Barcelona by 5 points, so the team really cannot afford for the world’s most expensive soccer player to miss any more matches if they are to catch up.

 

Mark Hughes

Manchester City’s Saudi owners let the former United star spend a small fortune on players this summer and so far they have not been getting the results they expected. On Saturday they drew for the seventh game in a row and their inability to beat clubs like Fulham, Burnley and yesterday Hull is not the stuff of the top four in many pundits eyes, even though they have only suffered one defeat (at the hands of Manchester United).  Favorite to take over?  Former Chelsea boss Gus Hiddink who is now technically available after Russia failed to qualify for the World Cup.

Rafa Benitez

The entire British press claims that Rafa’s head is on the Liverpool chopping block, but he is surviving right now. The team’s exit from Europe last week did not help but a 2-0 victory over arch rivals Everton on Sunday helped soften the blow for fans.

Mick McCarthy

His Wolves won the Championship and years of heartache seemed to be over for Wolverhampton fans. But an inexplicable failure to score despite great midfield performances has many people questioning the Mick’s selection choices.  A 1-0 loss to Birmingham, despite the Wolves having possession of the ball for 58% of game left many fans and pundits scratching their heads